eeek, that one. I remember as far back as my memory goes, I have been able to slip into alpha state, just the provocation of the elements - water, wind, fire, would begin the process and I would happily hitch a ride to blissful places. Untrained, I used breathing techniques instinctively, and quite naturally, I began to organise my thoughts into images of intention.
As a child, living by the English Channel, I revelled in watching the sea angrily batter the rocks, just as much as a calm tranquil display of glistening lights. Living in a farming community, we had visits from Petulengro, a tribe of gypsies working the land, gathering hops, apples and harvesting crops. I learned so much from them. My uncle married a woman from the tribe, she is an excellent herbologist. I had many stories from her as a child. I envied that way of life. I know she missed it terribly as her 'domestication' process took the light from her eyes. All that attracted my uncle to her, was stripped from her, one by one. First to go was the herbology, finally, desperately, her amazing dancing. That was so sad to witness. I could cry over it even now. I think it began a moulding process in my character. I think on behalf of both of us, I shook off all my peers expected of me. Broke the barrier and went outside the mould. Eventually, I went on to become a chronic rescuer, getting myself embroiled into all kinds of drama, even to the point of going to foreign soil, becoming trapped and fighting for my life. Still not enough, after getting out of that fire, I rushed straight into a fryingpan, just changing my tactics, but on the same crusade. I was never alone, tho. Oh no. Not alone. I was surprised myself at some of the 'resources' I used.
So, after a few decades of this self inflicted battery, I made a sudden decision. It shocked many - I quit. I felt really bad about it, and tsumani's of 'bad luck' for want of better description, swamped me. Returning to my hometown, my birthplace, I discovered my uncle died. I spoke to my gypsy aunt for the first time in decades. We spoke of old times. It reminded me of many things, including that alpha state. So now I am on a different journey. I have learned many things, have many battle scars, and a few nightmares here and there, but the motto held precious 'This too, shall pass.'
Im different, I accept that. I will be different, always. I have seen too much, heard too much and learned too much, and as much as I stick that in a box, wrap it in concrete and dump it in outta space, I feel I will have learned nothing, if not by these lessons. It brought me to this place, and leaves me here to learn new lessons, ponder possibilities and appreciate tranquillity. My intentions may differ from yours, in some ways, what does that matter? The journey is different for all of us. Its the destination that counts. The first time round, I strayed waaaay off the path. Now, Im fully focussed and this time, Im going to paint a different canvas. I am appreciative of the company here.